@sir Ocaml qualify for 3 out of 4
Ocaml isn't that slow from what i understand. For a while, everything was a pointer, but a recent version of the language got unboxed primitive types, so you can have cheaper lists of integers than before. It comes with a native compiler, so you are not forced to use bytecode VM.
You're complaint about haskell packaging is my complaint about all packaging systems except Nix. Everything assumes native dependencies already exist. Nix is annoying because everything has to be in Nix.
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