I need some industrial-grade escapism right now, so this thread is going to be me live-tooting my adventures in game that I just started. Won't be long—I never got past the Gnomish Mines, I think.

If you have a "recent-ish browser", you can watch me at (press "c" to connect, "w" to list games, then choose the one Minoru is playing).

You can also ssh and do the same c-w-choose Minoru thing there.

Here goes!

· · Web · 1 · 1 · 1

Katana and wakizashi - check. A bow I just made from a tree branch - check. It's a shame I couldn't get any food, but the shopkeeper barred the doors when I tried to walk into the store with weapons blazing like this. Lesson learned.

At least my trusty Hachi is here with me. He's only a pup, but that's still some company. And reinforcement, too.

Such a sunny day, but the entrance to The Dungeon breathes cold at me. I hope I'll be luckier than the tourist who sauntered down there last month.

Show thread

Just a few steps into the mine, and already some obstacles: a wide hole in the ground. No idea how this could form naturally, and if it's natural at all. Should've became an Archeologist instead…

There's nothing else to do but jump. I grabbed my dog and made the leap.

Gosh! An ugly lichen, right where I landed! I let go of Hachi and did a three-point landing that bards always sing about. Something snapped in my knee, and I couldn't put all my force into the hit I landed with the katana.

Show thread

One more hit, and the lichen was done. To my surprise, it rotted away right there and then.

I looked around. What a wicked place is this? Flesh shouldn't just disappear after life leaves it!

A few deep breaths calmed me. I was in something of a man-made cave—there was a door here, but also two other passages. Those looked dark and uninvited, so I grabbed the door's handle.

Show thread


Well, of course. Only an idiot would leave his door unlocked in a place like this. (Somehow, it didn't occur to me that only a total idiot would stay to *live* in that place. I guess I was accepting the surrealism and wickedness of The Dungeon already.)

One of the passages wasn't too interesting either: it went a few meters deep, ending with a wall. I wasn't convinced, though, and started feeling around the stone.

A yelping from behind made me jump up and turn. We had a guest.

Show thread

A disfigured, ugly creature was so small that my pup could probably deal with it by himself. Relaxing a bit, I turned back to the stone. A few moments later, Hachi returned, apparently unharmed.

The dead-end seemed to be authentic. I better not waste any more time on it! I walked over to the other passage.

What initially looked an un-inviting black hole now seemed actually dangerous—what if there are more grid bugs? But Hachi was already tottering before me, and I had to follow.

Show thread

Another room! With an open door, too! I peeked inside.

Empty. Wait— what's that in the corner? I walked over to better see a lump of metal. It's weapons! Whatsaname... Shurakin? Shure… Shuriken! Pointed starts that ninja threw at their opponents!

Pocketing a dangerous find, I walked over to the other door in the room. It resisted my attempts for a while, and I almost thought it's locked too, but it finally gave in, and I found myself in another corridor. I made a note in my pocket map.

Show thread

More rooms, many more corridors. I found some money, which lifted my spirits up tremendously. I'm a successful hero! I'll be rich! Unless I'll be dead first; that'd be inconvenient.

In one of the rooms, I also found a metal ring. Looks like steel. Bards told us of rings that give their wearers power, stealth, enhance their abilities—or inflict damage, strangle and confuse them. Let's wait with putting this on, then.

Another lichen. Dead of a single stroke of my mighty katana. I'm so-o cool!

Show thread

What's so hard about reaching the deepest level of The Dungeon? I'm here already. Although, to think of it, seven rooms with three creatures can't be called The Dungeon of Doom, can it?

I leaned against the wall. It gave way, and I landed face-first in a new corridor. Looks like I have a bit more exploration to do! I was torn between joy and fear. Exploring is fun, but it's also deadly. I have katana against lichens, but perhaps there's something here that have something against my sword, too.

Show thread

I shrieked in surprise. The grid bug was a lovely lady compared to *this*... this creature. Its mouth was frothing, with little pointy teeth picking out of the white foam. Small, angry eyes were almost lost in between wrinkles of the wizened face. A long, crooked nose dominated the appearance.

I shouted once more, defiantly this time, and launched into attack. I hit the goblin's neck, and jumped back, ready for the counter-attack.

Show thread

Without a sound, goblin fell to the ground and rotted away, just like that lichen beside the entrance. The only things left laying on the floor were an ugly, filthy dagger, and a bunch of arrows. Still under the impression of the encounter, I picked up everything, and made my way to the steps on the other side of the room.

Show thread

The second floor was just as desolated as the first one. I wandered along corridors and inside room, pocketing potions and miscellaneous junk, until another door revealed…. another goblin!

Simultaneously, we launched into each other. I stumbled and fell onto the goblin, prickling him almost by accident. The filthy creature's blow lost its speed, and it became mellow. I waited a few seconds, expecting it to disintegrate, but it didn't.

I picked up a few of goblin's possessions, and left.

Show thread

I couldn't believe my eyes, but the markings on the hilt matched the ones in my pocketbook. The sword wasn't just a piece of metal—it was a legendary Demonbane! I liked my katana, of course, but Demonbane would be indispensable against something major (according to the bards, anyway). I gently put the weapon into an extra scabbard I had.

The staircase down was just here in the corner, but I resisted a temptation to descend. Need to look at the rest of the level first.

Show thread

I love exploration! Found no more adversaries, but did find a few fountains, a ton of junk (some interesting), and another staircase! I think I'll take the first one; it's deeper and far more intriguing.

Show thread

Darkness. Descending into here wasn't such a good idea. After a few seconds, self-preservation prevailed, and I went back up. Let's explore the other staircase, shall we, Hachi?

Show thread

Now that's better. A proper level with a proper ominous half-light that all the levels have. Wonder what generates it… I never saw any torches here, nor anything that actually emits light. Does The Dungeon do it… by itself?

Fearful of my own thoughts, I marched forward along the corridor, and soon found another staircase. Peeking down it, I saw a wobbly figure. I almost called to the man, but decided against it at the last moment. Doddering and wrappings gave the zombie away.

Show thread

I went back up to explore some more. Sure, I'm an experienced warrior now, having killed ten goblins (or so; I think it's fine to round upwards). But let's see if there's something here that'll help me tackle the zombie.

Room after room after room, it was all plain sailing. I even killed a gecko and something that looked like a kobold! And then, right out of the room I just left, a freaking rat came running at me.

Show thread

Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. "Minoru *the Samurai* got scared of a rat", right? Well, this one was huge. It was massive. Giant, I should say. You'd shit your pants if I drew you a picture. And you'd be dead in a few seconds.

Me, I already had my katana in hand. I landed a solid blow right into its gut, but it managed to bite my hand too. See these marks? That wasn't a dog, no—these were left by that monster rat.

I was lucky that my second blow stopped the thing, or I won't be here today.

Show thread

The vision of that rat still bothered me. Distracted, I stepped into something, and it clicked.

* * *

I came back to my senses because of Hachi licking my face. Right next to me lay some sort of a trap. Sleeping gas of some sort? Anyways, it's safe now. I deactivated it. Kinda.

With a headache splitting my brain in half, I went on.

Show thread

"Irasshaimase, Minoru! Welcome to Hebiwerie's general store!"

Another living soul! Not a monster, not an animal—a breathing, living man. How nice it was to finally meet someone out here! (Again, it didn't occur to me that only a total lunatic would live down here, let alone keep a store.)

The shop was pretty barren. A few scrolls, a potion, and a few bars of chocolate. Plus a lichen right beside me. It wasn't threatening me, though, so I left it be. Heroes do this, you know.

Show thread
Show more
Sign in to participate in the conversation
Functional Café

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!